Since I'm not sure if anyone actually reads this (a girl can hope, but I'm realistic here) I'm going to skip a Christmas Letter type update and just get down to the nitty gritty. The law firm I was working for (and laid off from) finally brought me back on full-time permanent, yay! I've been working my little fingers to the bone, trying to get enough money put away to move out on my own again. Thanks to tax return, I was able to put a little bit away. Praise the Lord. Of course, just when I think I've got my ducks in a row, the damn ducks got drunk and forgot to come home.
I've been dating a hard-partying musician who has his ups and downs, but God do I love that boy! We were still in the get to know each other phase when he announced that he was moving away to pursue his music, and I apparently wasn't invited along. Yeah, that sucked. Sucked even more when I found out two days later I was pregnant. See, I'm pro-life. Not being pregnant was never an option for me, nor was staying pregnant and not telling him about it. His first reaction on hearing the news? Calling me a crazy liar. Awesome. Not quite the reaction I was hoping for. I was freaking out bad enough without that. Apparently he got over that, he came back and acted like a man. Called up my dad, told him we were gonna be a family. We started talking about baby names and where we might live.
Then, of course, the shit hit the fan. Out of the blue, he decided he wasn't ready for all this, couldn't handle it, and didn't wanna see me anymore. I don't know if he wants to be a part of the baby's life, or what. I'm looking forward to my first ultrasound, and hearing that tiny heartbeat, but I'm preparing myself to do it alone. Well, without the baby's father. I have my friends and my family. I'm scared to death. Scared of being pregnant, scared of childbirth, scared of having this tiny little person dependent on me.
